


Hubris

by Repeatinglitanies



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Don’t copy on another site, Five actually admitting he made a mistake?, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23156971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repeatinglitanies/pseuds/Repeatinglitanies
Summary: What Five might be thinking as the White Violin was draining the life out of him, Luther, Diego and Klaus
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 2
Kudos: 88





	Hubris

It wasn’t everyday that Five would admit to hubris. When he had found himself stuck in the charred future that was the apocalypse, without a home or family, he had vowed it would be the last time.

But here Five was at the Icarus Theater, at the epicenter of the very thing he had spent the majority of his life wishing to prevent, and finding himself with no way to complete his life-long mission.

In a twisted way, Vanya finally got what she wanted. Now, she had all of their attention. After all, at this point, it was unavoidable. She was the reason Five (along with Luther, Diego and Klaus) were hoisted up in the air, having their very lives siphoned out of them. And for once, there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t even look away.

And now, at what looked to be the very last gasps of a dying world, he felt both awe and fear. For and towards Vanya. Meek, mousy little Vanya who only wanted to belong. She was the sibling Five felt closest to because she was the only one who would willingly spend an extended amount of time with him. He trusted her like he did no one else in the house they all grew up in. Because he never doubted that she did care about him. 

That day in her apartment, it was like they were twelve again. He would come back to his room from a grueling day of training. And Vanya would be waiting. Even after decades of being apart, he had let her patch his arm without a word of protest, pulling up his sleeve on reflex.

For the first thirteen years of his life, Five had taken that (and a lot of other things) for granted as all children tended to do. But growing up in a world with only himself and Dolores for company finally managed to instill in him an appreciation for what he had before. That and a determination to do whatever it takes to get it back. 

But stopping something that caused the end of all human life on earth was a daunting task, even for someone like Five who was far from ordinary or stupid. 

He had been so sure that he was ready to time travel only to end up in what could arguably be a fate worse than death, with no backup plan to ensure he got back in his proper time. 

His hubris had caught him putting the cart before the horse, counting his chickens before they hatched and other similar idioms. Five had paid dearly for it. But finding himself all alone for the first time in his life, he had no one to blame but himself. And no other choice but to move forward to get back.

Because of that, he never allowed himself to think of life without the apocalypse. More specifically, what he would do with himself if he managed to succeed. Not that he thought his life-long mission was a practice in futility, doomed to fail. But more that there wasn’t much room for anything other than surviving long enough to get back and do everything in his power to save his family and the world.

As much as he wanted to deny it, Five had to concede that Klaus was right. He had been (and still is) addicted to the apocalypse. 

To be fair, he had lived alone for far longer at the end of the world than he had any other era or timeline. It had molded, shaped and birthed him in a way Reginald Hargreeves, the Commission or some random woman ever could. And despite his mission of changing the timeline, he knew that the apocalypse would always remain a part of who he is no matter what happened. As much as he may wish otherwise.

When one lived a hand to mouth existence with literally no one else to rely on, it becomes hard to focus. And rather easy to just lay down on the ground and wait for death. Solitude does strange things to the mind, even a mind as strong-willed as Five’s.

Which was why there was a comfort in having Vanya’s book with him. It reminded him that he needed to return to his family. That there was something to go back to, something that needed to be saved, if he couldn’t do so for the rest of the world. 

Sure, the book eventually lead him to the memory of finding most of his siblings’ dead bodies. Reliving the thought of having to bury each in shallow graves, the best he could do with the limited resources he had. But while not in the least all right, it ignited and reignited his will to survive.

In some ways, Vanya’s book saved his life. And became as much a life-long companion as Dolores. So much so that he took it with him even when he left Dolores at the end of the world.

There was so much he wanted to tell Vanya when he finally got back. That she didn’t need powers to be special or to accomplish great things. That she wasn’t less for being normal. That he needed to thank her, for missing him, for wanting him back in her life even though it appeared as if he simply ran away and never looked back.

But Five had spent too long outside of human contact. He ended up not saying any of those things. He figured that his priority was to make sure Vanya and everyone else on the planet stayed alive.

Well now, Five wanted to hit the Five of eight days ago in the head.

He had gone to Vanya for help because he thought she would be the one most willing to assist him. Vanya had always wanted to go on a mission. Dad never allowed her because it made no sense to send a girl with no way to defend herself to a dangerous situation. Even Five agreed with that rationale.

And with Five not trusting his other siblings to believe him, Vanya was all he really had.

At the time, he thought she was still the same girl he knew back when they were thirteen. But with Vanya thinking him crazy, he had come to the conclusion that she wasn’t that girl any longer. She didn’t want to go on missions to save the world anymore. And on some level, Five understood. Vanya had her own life now. She had come to realize that saving the world was beyond her abilities and interests.

But still, it hurts to know that the one person he trusted no longer trusted him back, no longer had his back.

So Five ignored what he instinctively knew from reading her book from cover to cover for decades. The book wasn’t as much a cry of attention as it was a cry for help. 

With a sinking feeling that grew dimmer the longer his very energy was drained from him, Five didn’t know if he would have been able to help even if he tried. He had always figured that saving the world involved literal and figurative blood and sacrifice. That was what was familiar to him. When it came down to it, that was all that he ever really knew.

Vanya had asked him to stay that night he visited her apartment. What if by staying and telling her all he had actually wanted to say, he could have saved the world in the process? To him, that was a radical thought. And far too late.

By now, his vision had blurred. But Vanya remained as that shining white light, pure and unforgiving in its radiance. 

He would never say this out loud. But the moment he realized the apocalypse was still on, he felt so relieved. Five had just returned Dolores to the department store. At the time, he fully intended to find a way to live a life without the apocalypse. But while he tried to put on a brave and hopeful face, every moment in what he thought was the new timeline had terrified him.

Because he didn’t know if he truly had a place in this new world. Five survived (perhaps even thrived) in the apocalypse. He had carved himself a place there. 

He might have thought it to be the equivalent to hell on earth. But there had been a form of comfort in its familiarity.

So it shamed him to feel relief upon finding out that it was still on the horizon. Five knew that it would very well kill him. But still. It was a part of him. Just as his family, Dolores, and Vanya’s thoughts solidified in her book was a part of him.

Which was why it wasn’t truly a shock to finally learn the truth about Vanya. Frankly, the revelation was more akin to things finally clicking into place. Why Dad insisted on keeping her isolated and defenseless even though she would be an easy target for Academy enemies and why he’d allow her to remain in the manor even though she supposedly had no powers and was thus no use to him. Now he knew. At least, he understood part of it. Five had a sinking feeling Reginald Hargreeves had more reasons than he was ever willing to reveal.

If by some miracle he got out of this alive, Five vowed to do things differently. But the moments stretched and the odds of survival were quickly dwindling. So for the second time, in his life, he had to concede that his hubris got the better of him. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t have the luxury of mulling over it for the next four decades.

_For what it’s worth, I’m sorry Vanya. You saved my life in the apocalypse. But I couldn’t save yours._

Five knew that it was unlikely for Vanya to hear his thoughts. But for all his pragmatism, he was still human enough to want to have as close to a final say as he could.

And with that, for the first and final time, Five prepared for death.

That was when a shot rang out.


End file.
